12 Important Relationship Rules We All Should Follow
In one of his many quotes, bestselling Brazilian Author Paul Coelho said that “There are no rules to love.” While this may be true to some extent, there are some relationship rules that must be upheld to keep the fire of passion burning.
Love involves giving and receiving, making compromises, and showing kindness to each other. Whether you’re just starting a relationship, or you’ve been dating for some time, these relationship rules will help you build a healthier union.
Why Are Relationship Rules Important
Rules are important because they provide the framework that determines the quality of your bond. Other reasons for setting relationship guidelines include:
- They help set expectations and boundaries with which couples establish trust and respect.
- Relationship rules help partners to put their collective needs as a couple over their individual desires. This results in a deeper level of intimacy and mutual dependence.
- Having relationship rules helps partners to sort out misunderstandings and avoid hurting each other’s feelings.
- It creates a sense of responsibility, stability, and security in the relationship.
- The goal of setting relationship rules is to create mutual trust, love, and respect. It also gives the feeling of assurance that both partners are building a solid union that’d stand the test of time.
How a Safe Space Can Help
A safe space in a relationship is a place where both parties can express themselves without fear of judgment. It’s a place where you can be vulnerable to your lover and lay all your feelings bare. Your safe place is the place where you can share your thoughts, ideas, and desires without fear of ridicule or judgment.
Every relationship needs a safe space because this is the place to build intimacy and connection. To build a healthy relationship, partners have to learn to confide in each other. Your partner has to be your best friend and the most trusted person with whom you can share your innermost thoughts. You can only do this if you find a safe place in your relationship.
To create a safe space, partners have to build an environment of trust and openness. There must be no secrets, and each person must be empathic and emotionally intelligent to provide support and comfort for the other.
The 12 Relationship Rules
Here are the 12 rules of love that would help you build a better and healthier relationship:
1. Don’t Question Your Lover’s Intent
A relationship involves unwavering trust, even when it doesn’t make sense. So, one of the golden rules of love is to not question your lover’s intent. You need to trust them and rest assured that they have your best interest at heart.
2. Don’t Threaten to Quit the Relationship
Boundaries
- 23 min reading time
- audio version available
Even if you’ve been going on and off with your partner, don’t threaten to quit the relationship at the slightest provocation. Doing this could make your partner feel insecure and uncertain of their place in your life. It could even give them reasons to start seeking an alternative.
3. Always Appreciate and Compliment your Partner
Positivity
- 15 min reading time
- audio version available
Everyone loves getting compliments. So, when it comes to your partner, don’t hold back. Tell them they look beautiful. Tell them that you’re proud of them, and always let them know that you’re their number one cheerleader.
4. Don’t Compare Your Partner or Relationship to Others
Everyone is unique in their own way, and so is every relationship. Comparing your partner to other people could make them feel insecure and unworthy. This is also the case when you judge your relationship by what’s happening in other people’s relationships.
So, even if your friend’s boyfriend buys her a nice and shiny car and takes her to a 5-Star Hotel for her birthday, don’t pressure your boyfriend to do the same for you or think you need to do the same. If you communicate your wishes, you get what you deserve and want (it might take some time, but your partner will do everything in order to make you happy).
5. Understand that It’s More Important to be in Love than to be Correct
The Four Noble Truths of Love
- 23 min reading time
- audio version available
Sometimes, you and your partner will have misunderstandings. Every so often, you’ll argue and even yell at each other. But in the midst of all this, keep in mind that protecting your relationship is more important than proving that you’re right, even if you think your partner is wrong.
6. Don’t Cheat
The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty
- 15 min reading time
- audio version available
This should be obvious, right? Even people who don’t abide by other relationship rules know that cheating is an absolute dealbreaker. Cheating on your partner not only hurts them, but it could also damage them emotionally for the rest of their lives.
Apart from having sex, keeping secrets and sharing a certain kind of intimacy with other people could also be regarded as cheating.
7. Pamper Your Partner
Your partner should be your “baby”. You should always pamper and take care of them. This is one way to show that you love them and consider them a priority.
8. Give Each Other Space
How to Be Alone
- 15 min reading time
- audio version available
A relationship is not supposed to be a prison. You don’t have to suffocate your partner with your presence for them to feel loved. Instead, you should know when to spend time with them, and when to give them some space – even if you live together. After all, everyone loves to have their me-time every so often.
9. Don’t Isolate Your Lover from their Friends
The Art of Gathering
- 24 min reading time
- audio version available
Again, your relationship isn’t a prison. Your partner isn’t your child, so you don’t have to be in control of their life. To build a healthy relationship, you should allow your partner to also hang out with their friends and family. Even if you don’t like their friends, you can communicate your dislike without trying to control them.
10. Don’t Stay Hung Up on Past Issues
Your partner is not perfect. Sometimes they will do things that would hurt you. To build a healthy relationship, you need to learn how to forgive and let go. Rehashing past issues is like scratching a wound open when it’s about to heal. You should have enough empathy to forgive your partner and let go completely after an issue was solved.
11. Don’t Find it Hard to Say Sorry
Opening Up
- 23 min reading time
- audio version available
When you apologize to your partner, it shows that you value them and realize your fault. It also proves that you don’t want to lose the beautiful thing that you both are trying to build. When apologizing to your partner, make sure that you’re sincerely sorry, and not just trying to save face.
12. Don’t Argue in Public
At Home
- 12 min reading time
- audio version available
No matter what your partner does, don’t scold or argue with them in public. When they get in an altercation with other people in public, support them. You can correct them when you’re both alone, but always support them in public.
More Books To Improve Any Relationship
If you’re hungry for more relationship rules and wisdom, Blinkist has your back! Check out our collection of the best books to improve your relationship, where you can find the mentioned books and also discover new reads.
And as we bid adieu, remember this: relationships aren’t always smooth sailing, but with the right tools and a sprinkle of love, anything is possible. So keep exploring, keep learning, and most importantly, keep loving.
