How To Deal With Manipulative People: Essential Tips To Follow

Okay, let’s get real for a second. We’ve all crossed paths with those smooth operators who always seem to get their way, leaving us feeling like we just went ten rounds in a boxing ring… emotionally speaking, of course. 

Manipulative people are like ninjas of the mind, twisting words, tugging at your heartstrings, or even laying on the fake charm thick to get what they want.

Whether it’s that coworker who throws you under the bus or the “friend” whose life is always falling apart, their tactics can leave you wondering if you’re losing your grip on reality. 

But don’t worry, take a deep breath, because we’re here to help you decode their tricks and take back control.

Think of this article as your ultimate guide to dealing with manipulative people. We’re spilling the tea on their sneaky tactics, giving you the tools to stand your ground, and even pointing you towards some awesome Blinkist book summaries that’ll give you a PhD in spotting manipulation. 

8 Signs You’re Being Manipulated:

Think you might be tangled up with a manipulator? It’s time to tune into your intuition and pay attention to those subtle signs that something’s not quite right.

1. Gaslighting Galore: They’ll make you doubt your own sanity, insisting you’re “overreacting” or “misremembering” things. It’s like they’re trying to rewrite your reality, leaving you feeling confused and unsure of yourself.
2. Charm Overload: Sure, everyone loves a compliment, but if someone’s laying it on too thick, they might be trying to sweet-talk you into something. It’s that feeling of, “This is too good to be true… and it probably is.”
3. Lies, Lies, and More Lies: Manipulators are masters of deception. They’ll twist the truth, omit crucial details, or flat-out lie to their advantage. It’s like they’re playing a game of chess, and you’re the pawn.
4. Love Bombing: They shower you with excessive affection, attention, and gifts, especially early in the relationship. It can feel intoxicating, but it’s often a tactic to gain control and make you dependent on them.Learn more about love bombing.
5. The “We’re in This Together” Act: They’ll use phrases like “we” and “us” to create a false sense of alliance, making you feel obligated to go along with their plans. But remember, true teamwork is built on trust and mutual respect, not guilt trips.
6. Playing the Victim: They’ll paint themselves as the innocent sufferer to gain your sympathy and support, even if they’re the ones causing the problems. It’s a classic tactic to deflect blame and make you feel bad for them.
7. That Dazzling First Impression: Manipulators often come on strong, charming you with their charisma and seeming perfection. But remember, all that glitters isn’t gold. Pay attention to how they treat others and whether their actions match their words.
8. Silent Treatment or Subtle Threats: They’ll use silence or veiled threats to control your behavior and make you feel uneasy. It’s emotional manipulation at its finest, designed to keep you walking on eggshells.

If you want to become a pro at spotting these tactics, check-out these 2 Blinkist book summaries and learn how to become a red flag detector in just 15 minutes:

The Art of Manipulation: Uncover the secrets of psychological manipulation and learn how to protect yourself from its influence.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0: Enhance your emotional awareness and navigate relationships with greater clarity and confidence, even when dealing with manipulative individuals.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0

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by Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves

1. 11 min reading time
2. audio version available

Get the key ideas on Blinkist

Buy on Amazon

1. 11 min reading time
2. audio version available

Get the key ideas on Blinkist

Buy on Amazon

Take some time and also explore the Blinkist collection This Is Manipulation and discover how to recognize deceptive tactics used by individuals, companies, and even society itself. 

Is this already triggering? Learn how to protect yourself from toxic empathy:When Your Feels Become Toxic: How to Fight Toxic Empathy in the Blinkist Magazine.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Not sure how strong your boundaries are? Take our quick Blinkist Quiz on Instagram to assess your boundary-setting skills and see where you stand at the minute.

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Una publicación compartida de Blinkist: Best Book Summaries & Audio Book Guides (@blinkist)

Alright, so you’ve spotted the red flags and realized you’re dealing with a manipulative people. Now what? It’s time to reclaim your power and set some healthy boundaries:

At Work:

• Document Everything: Keep a record of their manipulative behavior, including specific incidents, dates, and any witnesses. This will be crucial if you need to escalate the situation to HR or your manager.
• Vent to Your Trusted Confidantes: You don’t have to go through this alone. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you’re experiencing. They can offer support and help you gain perspective.
• Confront Them (If It’s Safe): If you feel comfortable and safe doing so, consider confronting the manipulator directly. Be clear and assertive about their behavior and how it’s impacting you.
• Tell Your Boss: If the situation is affecting your work or well-being, don’t hesitate to inform your supervisor or HR. They have a responsibility to create a safe and healthy work environment for everyone.
• Focus on the Positive: Surround yourself with supportive colleagues and engage in activities that bring you joy. Don’t let the manipulator’s negativity consume your entire work experience.

Need more help with workplace drama? Check out our Blinkist Magazine article onHow to deal with difficult coworkers.

In General:

• Keep Your Cool: Manipulators thrive on emotional reactions. Stay calm and collected, even when they’re trying to push your buttons. Remember, you’re in control of your own emotions.
• Take Your Time: You don’t have to respond to their demands or requests immediately. Take a step back, assess the situation, and make decisions that are in your best interest.
• Stay Grounded: Don’t let their mind games mess with your head. Remind yourself of your worth and values.
• Set Boundaries: Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty. It’s okay to prioritize your own needs and protect your emotional well-being.

If you’ve got 15 minutes, supercharge your boundary-setting skills with Blinkist’s summary of Boundaries for practical tips and insights:

Boundaries

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by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

1. 23 min reading time
2. audio version available

Get the key ideas on Blinkist

Buy on Amazon

1. 23 min reading time
2. audio version available

Get the key ideas on Blinkist

Buy on Amazon

And what if your boss is the manipulator? Learn how to survive and thrive under toxic leadership:Toxic Leadership: When Your Boss is the Problem.

Remember, you have the power to break free from manipulative relationships and create a life filled with healthy connections.

Breaking Free and Thriving in Around Manipulative People

Remember those “smooth operators” we talked about at the beginning? The ones who left you feeling like you’d just gone ten rounds in an emotional boxing match? Well, it’s time to reclaim your power and step out of the ring.

Learning how to deal with manipulative people isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely possible. By recognizing their tactics, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing your well-being, you can break free from their control and build relationships based on genuine trust and respect.

If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey towards healthier connections and emotional well-being, we’ve got you covered:

Discover strategies for promoting well-being at work with the Blinkist collection “Mental Health at Work.”

And remember, you don’t have to go it alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or professionals for support. You deserve to live a life free from manipulation and filled with authentic connections.

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