How to Be a Better Husband: 10 Steps to a Happier Marriage
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re looking for ways to strengthen your marriage and deepen your connection with your partner. Maybe you’re facing some challenges, or maybe you just want to take your relationship to the next level.
Whatever your situation, know this: every marriage, even the most seemingly perfect ones, goes through seasons of change and growth.
Think of your marriage like a prized possession – a vintage car or a finely crafted watch. It needs regular maintenance, the right tools, and a bit of know-how to keep it running smoothly (and looking damn good).
That’s where this guide comes in. In our article “Hot to be a better husband,” we’re not just offering vague advice; we’ve got a 10-step toolkit based on wisdom from real relationship experts. And the best part?
We’ve sprinkled in insights fromBlinkist book summaries along the way, so you can dive deeper into each topic if you’re curious.
So, if you want to learn how to be a better husband and step up your marriage game, let’s get started!
What Makes a Great Husband? (According to Real People)
Before we dive into the steps to becoming a better husband, let’s chat about what makes a truly amazing partner in a marriage. We peeked into some Reddit threads to hear directly from you all about the qualities that matter most. Here’s what we found:
1. He’s Got Your Back, No Matter What
A great husband is your ultimate teammate, ready to tackle whatever life throws your way. Whether you’re celebrating a big win or facing a tough challenge, he’s right there with you, through thick and thin.
“He should be totally down for whatever life brings, the good and the bad, once you’re married.”
2. He Loves You Unconditionally
Love is the heart of any strong marriage, and a great husband’s love goes deep. He embraces every part of you, even the quirks that make you unique. He understands you in a way few others do.
“He should love you, embrace you, and get you.”
3. He Accepts You as You Are
Unwavering support is a husband’s superpower. He’s your rock, your safe space, and he accepts you exactly as you are. This kind of support can make all the difference.
“He’s always there for me, understands and accepts me better than anyone else.”
4. He Respects You, Always
Respect is the foundation of a healthy marriage. A great husband values your opinions, treats you as an equal partner, and recognizes your worth.
“The most important thing a man can do as a husband is respect his wife.”
5. He Makes Your Life Better
A great husband doesn’t just love you; he actively adds joy, comfort, and stability to your life. One person beautifully described it, saying:
“My husband makes my life so much better, and he’s been doing that since the day we met.”
So, what does it take to be this kind of husband? Let’s take a look at some practical steps you can take…
10 Steps to Become a Better Husband
1. Learn your Partner’s Love Languages
Have you ever felt like you’re showering your partner with love, but they’re just not feeling it? It’s not that you’re doing it wrong; you might just be speaking the wrong language!
Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages reveals that we all have unique ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch.
When you learn your partner’s primary love language and start speaking it fluently, your efforts will feel more meaningful, and your connection will deepen.
The 5 Love Languages
- 20 min reading time
- audio version available
Speaking your partner’s love language is a great first step on your journey to becoming a better husband, but building a strong connection often requires more than just knowing how to show love. It also requires open and honest communication.
2. Become a Communication Pro
Think of communication as the engine of your relationship – if it’s faulty, you’ll end up lost and frustrated.Dr. John Gottman‘s research shows in The Relationship Cure that healthy communication is the cornerstone of a happy marriage.
Learn to express your needs clearly and respectfully, listen actively to your partner, and validate their feelings. And remember, it’s not just about what you say, but how you say it. The tone of voice, body language, and timing all matter.
The Relationship Cure
- 24 min reading time
- audio version available
Once you’ve mastered the art of communication, it’s time to create opportunities for deeper connection.
3. Schedule Quality Time
Life gets busy, but your marriage shouldn’t take a back seat. Learn how to be a better husband and carve out dedicated time for each other, whether it’s a weekly date night, a weekend getaway, or simply 20 minutes of uninterrupted conversation each evening.
Ask meaningful questions, share your dreams and fears, and simply enjoy each other’s company.
Relationship Goals
- 23 min reading time
- audio version available
Creating space for connection allows you to appreciate and accept each other, flaws and all.
4. Embrace Imperfection
Newsflash: you’re not perfect, and neither is your partner! We all have flaws, quirks, and annoying habits. Instead of trying to change each other, embrace those imperfections and focus on your partner’s strengths.
Brené Brown‘s research reminds us that vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. So, let your guard down, share your fears and insecurities, and allow yourself to be truly seen by your partner.
The Gifts of Imperfection
- 22 min reading time
- audio version available
Embracing imperfections can lead to a more authentic connection, but disagreements are bound to happen. When they do, remember…
5. Fight Fair
Arguments are a natural part of any relationship but don’t have to turn into World War III. Learn to fight fairly by avoiding personal attacks, focusing on the issue, and taking breaks when things get heated.
Look for win-win solutions, compromise when necessary, and remember that you’re on the same team.
The High-Conflict Couple
- 18 min reading time
- audio version available
It’s important to engage in fair fighting, while also recognizing the emotional experience of your partner.
6. Show Compassion
Don’t just try to fix the problem when your partner is upset. Instead, offer a listening ear and a compassionate heart. Validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.
Tara Brach‘s teachings on Radical Compassion encourage us to be present with our partner’s pain, offering support and understanding without judgment.
Radical Compassion
- 36 min reading time
- audio version available
By showing empathy, you’ll strengthen your bond and create a safe space for both of you to express your emotions. But don’t forget to express your appreciation too!
7. Show Appreciation, Big and Small
Never underestimate the power of a simple “thank you” or a heartfelt compliment. Let your partner know how much you appreciate them, both for the big things and the little, everyday acts of love.
Notice the effort they put into making dinner, compliment their outfit, or simply tell them how lucky you feel to have them in your life.
The Meaning of Marriage
- 22 min reading time
- audio version available
Also, if you’re looking for more ways to show appreciation and balance responsibilities in your relationship, check out this Blinkist article onHow To Get Your Husband To Help You With Chores.
8. Invest in Your Growth
Your personal growth is a gift to your marriage. Continually strive to become the best version of yourself by learning new skills, pursuing your passions, and addressing any personal challenges.
David Richo‘s book reminds us that healthy relationships require both partners to be mature, responsible, and self-aware.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships
- 26 min reading time
- audio version available
As you grow individually, your relationship will also evolve and deepen.
9. Revive the Flame
Remember those early days of dating when everything felt exciting and new? You can recreate that magic by trying new things together, stepping out of your comfort zone, and prioritizing romance and intimacy.
Plan surprise dates, explore shared interests, and don’t be afraid to get a little silly together. Find more tips to be a better husband in reviving the passion in Blinkist’s A Return to Love.
A Return to Love
- 17 min reading time
- audio version available
Keeping the spark alive sets the stage for continued learning and growth within your marriage.
10. Never Stop Learning
The journey of marriage is a lifelong adventure. Keep the spark alive by reading books, attending workshops, or even seeking couples counseling.
The more you learn about relationships, the better equipped you’ll be to navigate the inevitable challenges that arise and build a love that lasts a lifetime.
30 Lessons for Loving
- 13 min reading time
- audio version available
So, are you ready to take that first step on this exciting journey to becoming an even better husband? Well, I’ve got just the thing for you: Blinkist Premium’s Modern Husband Toolbox.
It’s packed with insights from the best books on relationships, communication, and personal growth – everything you need to level up your husband game.
And here’s the best part:
Blinkist Premium isn’t just for you.Share your account with your partnerand turn those book insights into meaningful conversations, new ideas, and shared growth. It’s like a fun book club, but way more intimate and a great space to spend some quality time with your partner.
Remember, if you want to really learn how to be a better husband, it will be a journey with ups and downs, twists and turns. But with an open mind and a loving heart, you and your partner can create a truly fantastic life together.
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Originally from the north of England, Robin is an experienced journalist, editor, and writer. He has an incredibly specific knowledge of Russian cinema and wrote two dissertations about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster before HBO made it cool. He has travelled across Ukraine and is currently practicing how to cook the perfect blini.
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