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Why Speaking The Right Love Language Can Solve 90% Of Your Relationship Problems

If you have no idea which language your lover speaks, you may be inadvertently communicating in a way that hurts rather than helps your relationship.
by Clare Wieck | Jan 27 2017

You probably speak the same language as your romantic partner. But what if, despite that shared fluency, your entire relationship has been plagued by unwitting miscommunications”, this is often the case. Of course, we’re not talking about a failure to communicate in spoken languages like Spanish or Japanese. We’re talking about more subtle languages – love languages.

What love language do you speak

Take your relationship to the next level by speaking your lover’s language

So what are love languages? Well, there are five languages in which we perceive and communicate love – physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts and acts of service – and each of us speaks primarily one of them.

If you have no idea which language your lover speaks, you may be inadvertently communicating in a way that hurts rather than helps your relationship.

For example, perhaps your partner buys you gifts or carves out quality time to spend with you on the weekend, oblivious to the fact that your love language is words of affirmation; to you, hearing your partner say something like, “I love you – you’re such a caring, smart person” would be far more meaningful.

Or maybe your partner seems inexplicably underwhelmed when you cook dinner for them (acts of service), because their love language is actually physical touch, meaning they’d feel more loved if you offered them a massage instead.

The fix?

Tell your partner what your love language is, ask them about theirs – and then act on that information! Honoring each other’s love language is crucial to a long, satisfying relationship.

To dive deeper into the five love languages – and to find out why real love isn’t the same as being in love – check out the book The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.

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