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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
The Like Switch summary
Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins
An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting and Winning People Over
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4.3 (178 ratings)
13 mins
6 key ideas
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What is The Like Switch about?
In The Like Switch, author Jack Schafer explores the realm of nonverbal social cues and other communication practices that draws people to one another. A former FBI agent and doctor of psychology, Schafer presents useful strategies to make new friends and influence people.
About the Author
Former FBI Special Agent Jack Schafer is a doctor of psychology and professor at the Law Enforcement and Justice Administration Department of Western Illinois University. He has also worked as a behavioral analyst.
Marvin Karlins is a doctor of psychology and an interpersonal effectiveness consultant. He has authored 24 books, including two bestsellers, What Every Body Is Saying and It’s a Jungle In There.
Table of Contents
Key idea 1 of 6
If you want someone to like you, follow the formula. Frequency, proximity, duration, intensity.
If you want someone to like you, what should you do?
Advice from most people would probably be, “just be yourself!” Yet the author disagrees; there is more to being liked than just being genuine. There is a friendship “formula.”
The first steps are to frequently be in proximity with the person you want to like you.
People who share the same physical surroundings are more likely to be drawn to one another. So try to be around the person you want to win over as often as you are able.
Let’s look at a scenario. FBI agent Charles needed to befriend a foreign diplomat, codename Seagull, to convince Seagull to become a spy for the United States. Using the technique of proximity, he started following Seagull’s daily route to the grocery store, so that they both would share the same environment for a time each day.
In doing so, Charles worked to increase the number of times when Seagull would become aware of him, so he’d start to seem familiar.
Other steps in the formula are the duration and intensity of time spent with your target.
Duration is important. The more time you spend with someone, the more you’ll be able to influence them to like you.
After a couple of months, Charles used the power of duration by actually following Seagull into the grocery store, which added to the contact time between them.
He also enlisted intensity – meaning how well one is able to satisfy another person’s psychological and/or physical needs – by offering nonverbal “friend signals.” By nodding his head and catching Seagull’s eye on occasion, Seagull naturally became interested in whom Charles was and why he was always around.
By the time Charles introduced himself as a FBI agent, Seagull was already primed to become a friend. And because of this familiarity, Seagull agreed to be a spy.
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Who should read The Like Switch
- Anyone who wants to learn how to form a solid friendship from the start
- Anyone interested in psychology
- Anyone interested in communication strategies for business
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