Get the key ideas from

The Like Switch

An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting and Winning People Over

By Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins
12-minute read
Audio available
The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting and Winning People Over by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins

In The Like Switch, author Jack Schafer explores the realm of nonverbal social cues and other communication practices that draws people to one another. A former FBI agent and doctor of psychology, Schafer presents useful strategies to make new friends and influence people.

  • Anyone who wants to learn how to form a solid friendship from the start
  • Anyone interested in psychology
  • Anyone interested in communication strategies for business

Former FBI Special Agent Jack Schafer is a doctor of psychology and professor at the Law Enforcement and Justice Administration Department of Western Illinois University. He has also worked as a behavioral analyst.

Marvin Karlins is a doctor of psychology and an interpersonal effectiveness consultant. He has authored 24 books, including two bestsellers, What Every Body Is Saying and It’s a Jungle In There.

Go Premium and get the best of Blinkist

Upgrade to Premium now and get unlimited access to the Blinkist library. Read or listen to key insights from the world’s best nonfiction.

Upgrade to Premium

What is Blinkist?

The Blinkist app gives you the key ideas from a bestselling nonfiction book in just 15 minutes. Available in bitesize text and audio, the app makes it easier than ever to find time to read.

Discover
3,000+ top
nonfiction titles

Get unlimited access to the most important ideas in business, investing, marketing, psychology, politics, and more. Stay ahead of the curve with recommended reading lists curated by experts.

Join Blinkist to get the key ideas from
Get the key ideas from
Get the key ideas from

The Like Switch

An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting and Winning People Over

By Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins
  • Read in 12 minutes
  • Audio & text available
  • Contains 7 key ideas
Upgrade to Premium Read or listen now
The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting and Winning People Over by Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins
Synopsis

In The Like Switch, author Jack Schafer explores the realm of nonverbal social cues and other communication practices that draws people to one another. A former FBI agent and doctor of psychology, Schafer presents useful strategies to make new friends and influence people.

Key idea 1 of 7

If you want someone to like you, follow the formula. Frequency, proximity, duration, intensity.

If you want someone to like you, what should you do?

Advice from most people would probably be, “just be yourself!” Yet the author disagrees; there is more to being liked than just being genuine. There is a friendship “formula.”

The first steps are to frequently be in proximity with the person you want to like you.

People who share the same physical surroundings are more likely to be drawn to one another. So try to be around the person you want to win over as often as you are able.

Let’s look at a scenario. FBI agent Charles needed to befriend a foreign diplomat, codename Seagull, to convince Seagull to become a spy for the United States. Using the technique of proximity, he started following Seagull’s daily route to the grocery store, so that they both would share the same environment for a time each day.

In doing so, Charles worked to increase the number of times when Seagull would become aware of him, so he’d start to seem familiar.

Other steps in the formula are the duration and intensity of time spent with your target.

Duration is important. The more time you spend with someone, the more you’ll be able to influence them to like you.

After a couple of months, Charles used the power of duration by actually following Seagull into the grocery store, which added to the contact time between them.

He also enlisted intensity – meaning how well one is able to satisfy another person’s psychological and/or physical needs – by offering nonverbal “friend signals.” By nodding his head and catching Seagull’s eye on occasion, Seagull naturally became interested in whom Charles was and why he was always around.

By the time Charles introduced himself as a FBI agent, Seagull was already primed to become a friend. And because of this familiarity, Seagull agreed to be a spy.

Upgrade to continue Read or listen now

Key ideas in this title

Upgrade to continue Read or listen now

No time to
read?

Pssst. Sign up to your secret to success: key ideas from top nonfiction in just 15 minutes.
Created with Sketch.