Powerful ideas from top nonfiction
Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Get started
Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
The Enabler summary
Angelyn Miller
Brief summary
The Enabler by Angelyn Miller is a guide that sheds light on the destructive patterns of enabling behavior. It offers practical strategies and empowering insights to break free from the cycle of enabling and foster healthier relationships.
Topics
Table of Contents
The Enabler
Summary of key ideas
The Start of a Journey
In The Enabler by Angelyn Miller, we are introduced to the author's personal experience as an enabler. She describes her life as a woman who has spent years trying to fix the problems of others, especially her husband and children. She identifies herself as a classic enabler, someone who takes on the responsibility for other people's actions and tries to shield them from the consequences.
Miller's journey into understanding her behavior begins when her husband, who has been struggling with his alcoholism, enters a rehab program. She is surprised to learn that she has been enabling his addiction by covering up for him, making excuses, and preventing him from facing the consequences of his actions. This realization is a turning point for her. She starts to see her enabling behavior in other areas of her life, particularly in her relationship with her children.
Recognizing the Patterns
As Miller delves deeper into the concept of enabling, she learns that it is not just about substance abuse. Enabling can manifest in various ways, such as protecting someone from the consequences of their actions, taking on their responsibilities, or fixing their problems. She recognizes these patterns in her relationship with her children, where she has been overprotective and overly involved, hindering their growth and independence.
She also begins to understand that her enabling behavior is not just a result of her love and concern for her family but is also driven by her own fears and insecurities. She is afraid of confrontations, rejection, and failure, which makes her prone to taking on more than her share of responsibilities.
Breaking Free from the Cycle
With this newfound understanding, Miller starts working on breaking free from the cycle of enabling. She learns to set healthy boundaries and let her loved ones face the consequences of their actions. It's a difficult process, and she faces resistance and guilt from her family. Her husband, for instance, initially resents her for not covering up for him anymore, and her children struggle with the sudden change in her behavior.
However, Miller remains steadfast. She seeks support from therapy, support groups, and self-help books. She also starts focusing on her own well-being, pursuing her interests, and rebuilding her identity outside of her roles as an enabler. These steps help her gain confidence and assertiveness, making it easier for her to stick to her new boundaries.
A New Beginning
As the book progresses, we witness the positive impact of Miller's transformation. Her husband, seeing her newfound strength and confidence, becomes more committed to his recovery. Her children, though initially resistant, start taking more responsibility for their actions and decisions. The family dynamics shift, becoming healthier and more balanced.
By the end of The Enabler, Miller is no longer defined by her enabling behavior. She has learned to love and support her family without taking on their problems. She has also come to terms with her fears and insecurities, understanding that she doesn't need to be perfect to be loved and accepted. Her journey serves as an inspiring example for others struggling with similar issues, showing that it's possible to break free from the cycle of enabling and create healthier, more authentic relationships.
How do we create content on this page?
More knowledge in less time
Read or listen
Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
Find your next read
Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
Shortcasts New
We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.
What is The Enabler about?
The Enabler by Angelyn Miller explores the complex dynamics of codependency and enabling within families. Drawing on her own personal experiences and professional expertise, Miller delves into the patterns of behavior that perpetuate these destructive relationships. Through insightful analysis and practical advice, the book offers a path towards healing and breaking free from the cycle of enabling.
The Enabler Review
The Enabler (2021) sheds light on the dynamics of enabling behavior in relationships, urging readers to explore and understand this complex issue. Here's what sets this book apart:
- By delving deeply into emotional complexities and psychological implications, it offers a profound analysis of enabling behaviors and their impact on individuals and relationships.
- Through compelling case studies and insightful reflections, the book provides valuable insights into the patterns and motivations behind enabling, fostering deeper self-awareness.
- With its thought-provoking narratives and empowering solutions, the book engages readers in a transformative journey towards healthier boundaries and relationships.
Who should read The Enabler?
Individuals who struggle with setting boundaries in their relationships
People who want to understand and break free from codependent patterns
Those who are looking for practical strategies to stop enabling destructive behaviors
Categories with The Enabler
Book summaries like The Enabler
People ❤️ Blinkist
Sven O.
It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.
Thi Viet Quynh N.
Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.
Jonathan A.
Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.
Renee D.
Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.
People also liked these summaries
4.7 Stars
Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
36 Million
Downloads on all platforms
10+ years
Experience igniting personal growth
The Enabler FAQs
What is the main message of The Enabler?
The main message of The Enabler is empowering individuals to break free from enabling behaviors and establish healthy boundaries.
How long does it take to read The Enabler?
The estimated reading time for The Enabler is a few hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is The Enabler a good book? Is it worth reading?
The Enabler is a valuable book that sheds light on enabling dynamics and provides practical insights for personal growth.
Who is the author of The Enabler?
The author of The Enabler is Angelyn Miller.
What to read after The Enabler?
If you're wondering what to read next after The Enabler, here are some recommendations we suggest:
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susann Jeffers
- Making It All Work by David Allen
- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
- The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss
- Mindset by Carol Dweck
- Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely
- Switch by Chip Heath & Dan Heath
- The Da Vinci Curse by Leonardo Lospennato
- The Defining Decade by Meg Jay
- The Art Of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau