Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 5,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trial
Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child
Parenting is a confusing business. While our own parents grew up with a handful of trusted books to call on, today we’re flooded with opinions and opinions on how to parent. We’re supposed to hold firm boundaries, but not be disciplinarians. We’re told to nurture our children, but never become the dreaded “helicopter parent.”
One of the biggest challenges for parents is power. When our children act out, we clamp down and try to enforce our will, because “we know best.” Often, we resort to violence: between 80 and 90 percent of toddlers in the US are hit by their parents. And these harsh tactics continue at school, where corporal punishment is legal in 19 states.
But the truth is, an authoritarian approach can only go so far. And when you’re in the grip of a power struggle with your child, you both lose.
When children act out or get into trouble, it can be tempting to treat them as if they themselves are the problem. But tantrums or bad grades are actually symptoms of the real issue. Instead of fixating on the behavior, it’s time to look for what’s causing it. And the best person to help you do that is your child.
Learning how to communicate is what will allow you to have influence as a parent, without resorting to authoritarian tactics. You need to get on the same team as your children and become an active collaborator in helping to resolve their worries. Don’t be an adversary.
Adopting this approach can be scary, especially at first. You might feel like you’re “going soft” or at risk of losing control. But, in reality, a big power play only gives you the illusion of control. Your child may well already be going behind your back if he doesn’t agree with your rules – you just don’t know it. By learning to communicate openly and honestly with him, you’ll build a relationship based on empathy and respect instead of fear and control.
Raising Human Beings (2016) is part practical guide and part manifesto about the power of collaborative problem-solving. Using threats, bribes, and punishments doesn’t change children’s behavior sustainably. That’s because you just end up suppressing the symptoms of the problem, instead of addressing the root cause. Instead of engaging in power struggles, try asking your children what’s really going on, and brainstorming solutions together. Not only will you come up with better solutions – your relationship will improve dramatically.
It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.
Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.
Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.
Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.
Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 5,500+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.
Start your free trialBlink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma