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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
Getting to Yes with Yourself summary
William Ury
and Other Worthy Opponents
10 mins
Brief summary
Getting to Yes with Yourself by William Ury is a self-help book that teaches readers how to negotiate within their own minds. By developing a more positive and optimistic mindset, one can improve their relationships and achieve greater success in all areas of life.
Table of Contents
Getting to Yes with Yourself
Summary of 5 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 5
If you follow your first instincts during conflicts, you’ll become your own worst enemy.
Think back to the last conflict you had with another person. Maybe it was a big fight or a simple disagreement. Can you remember what your first reaction was? Did you snap at the other person right away?
Reactionary responses like this are very difficult to resist. They’re also highly detrimental and counterproductive.
For example, imagine a mother who wants to have a close relationship with her four-year-old daughter. She loves her, but the little girl refuses to go to bed each night and it makes her mom extremely angry.
If the mother gives in to her anger by yelling at her, the child will probably distance herself out of self-protection. Mom’ll end up undermining her goal of fostering a loving relationship with her daughter.
When we judge others instead of seeking to understand them, we often forget about our real interests. Reacting out of anger or because your pride has been hurt will only make things worse.
You can avoid this by focusing on self-understanding – observing yourself from a healthy mental and emotional perspective driven by empathy and self-control.
Self-understanding allows us to identify our passing feelings and thoughts, then neutralize their effects. It helps us maintain a state of balance and calm.
So even if the mother is frustrated, self-understanding could help her recognize her daughter’s patterns and choose not to react to them.
A key part of self-understanding is self-observation, which means listening to your own thoughts with empathy and patience, just as you would with a loved one. This lays the foundation for self-mastery.
In the mother’s case, self-observation would help her acknowledge her anger, remain calm and stay committed to her real goal of building a positive relationship with her little girl.
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What is Getting to Yes with Yourself about?
Think you could do with some help from the people who have to smooth out the thorniest political situations of our time? Getting to Yes with Yourself (2015) draws on professional mediator William Ury’s impressive résumé as peace broker in conflicts from the Midwest to the Middle East. Learn how to solve personal clashes more effectively, improve the important relationships in your life and gain more positive influence over yourself and others.
Getting to Yes with Yourself Review
Getting to Yes with Yourself (2015) is a thought-provoking book that delves into the art of negotiation with oneself. Here's why you should read it:
- Through powerful storytelling and relatable examples, it offers practical tools to overcome internal conflicts and achieve personal success.
- With its emphasis on self-reflection and self-awareness, the book guides readers towards a holistic approach to negotiation that goes beyond traditional methods.
- By focusing on the importance of self-compassion and authenticity, the book creates a compelling narrative that keeps readers engaged, never leaving room for boredom.
Best quote from Getting to Yes with Yourself
Do I not destroy my enemies when I turn them into my friends? – Abraham Lincoln
—William Ury
Who should read Getting to Yes with Yourself?
- Readers looking to up their game at work or build healthier personal relationships
- Managers and entrepreneurs who want to make their businesses more productive
- News addicts who are curious about the tricks used by professional negotiators
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Getting to Yes with Yourself FAQs
What is the main message of Getting to Yes with Yourself?
The main message of Getting to Yes with Yourself is about achieving inner peace and success through self-reflection and self-awareness.
How long does it take to read Getting to Yes with Yourself?
The reading time for Getting to Yes with Yourself varies, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is Getting to Yes with Yourself a good book? Is it worth reading?
Getting to Yes with Yourself is a worthwhile read. It offers insights and strategies for personal growth and achieving a fulfilling and balanced life.
Who is the author of Getting to Yes with Yourself?
The author of Getting to Yes with Yourself is William Ury.
What to read after Getting to Yes with Yourself?
If you're wondering what to read next after Getting to Yes with Yourself, here are some recommendations we suggest:
- See You at the Top by Zig Ziglar
- Moore’s Law by Arnold Thackray
- Marriage Be Hard by Kevin and Melissa Fredericks
- The Law of Success by Napoleon Hill
- She/He/They/Me by Robyn Ryle
- Make Your Mark by Jocelyn K. Glei
- In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté
- Free Speech by Jacob Mchangama
- Mastery by George Leonard
- Saving Aziz by Chad Robichaux with David L. Thomas