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Getting Past Your Breakup

How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

By Susan J. Elliott
15-minute read
Audio available
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott

Getting Past Your Breakup (2009) provides practical advice for coming to terms with the end of a romantic relationship. It emphasizes the importance of self-care and generating happiness for yourself so you can thrive in life – with or without a significant other.

  • People who are newly single
  • Couples who are unhappy in their relationship
  • Budding relationship psychologists and counselors

Susan J. Elliott is a New York-based attorney and grief counselor. She’s reached millions with her seminars and runs a highly popular blog entitled Getting Past Your Past.

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Getting Past Your Breakup

How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

By Susan J. Elliott
  • Read in 15 minutes
  • Audio & text available
  • Contains 9 key ideas
Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott
Synopsis

Getting Past Your Breakup (2009) provides practical advice for coming to terms with the end of a romantic relationship. It emphasizes the importance of self-care and generating happiness for yourself so you can thrive in life – with or without a significant other.

Key idea 1 of 9

In order to grow after a breakup, make sure you take care of yourself and grieve.

Think back to your first breakup. It was most likely a tortuous, heart-wrenching experience, right? But fear not – breakups can actually bring some positive things with them.

All in all, going through a breakup can be the perfect opportunity for personal growth. To achieve this, you have to look after yourself and properly mourn your old relationship.

When it comes to addressing a breakup, there are three distinct ways to handle it. First, there’s the option of investing a lot of emotional energy into trying to win your ex back. Second, there’s simply pretending that nothing’s happened by continuing with your life as normal. Third, there’s taking the time to reflect on your past relationship and your life in general to deal with your emotions so that you can fully heal. The best solution is the last one, but it’s by far the hardest. Here are some initial guiding principles to get you started.

From the very beginning, you need to put yourself first. This can prove difficult, especially if you’re used to catering to your partner’s needs. The trick is to treat yourself lovingly; boost your self-esteem by getting a new haircut or an expensive manicure. You could also take on a new hobby or work on expanding your circle of friends.

Most importantly, don’t try to block out the pain by engaging in behaviors like drug taking or substituting your ex with someone new. Instead, stay in touch with your emotions and work to process through them. Dealing with your feelings in this way will lead to you becoming a stronger person; you’ll trust in your ability to overcome pain and look after yourself.

Next, you’ll learn more about the process of self-care and how to properly grieve – it all begins with putting an end to that toxic relationship.

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