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Name: Get Better
Rating: 4.1 (44 reviews)
Author: Todd Davis

Todd Davis

15 Proven Practices to Build Effective Relationships at Work

4.1 (44 ratings)

20 mins

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Get Better
summarized in 10 key ideas

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What’s in it for me? Give yourself a powerful set of tools for building strong work relationships.

It may seem obvious, but every meaningful relationship, whether it’s personal or professional, requires a fundamental set of attributes, such as trust, credibility and considerateness. But that’s only the foundation of what it takes to build and nurture a healthy relationship. Open-mindedness, and our general attitude toward those around us, is just as important.

In these blinks, you’ll find a toolbox full of tips and ideas that you can immediately start using to create a healthier work environment. With these tools, managers will be better equipped to build strong teams, not to mention construct safe and comfortable places where employees feel respected and appreciated. And any employee eager to improve relations with coworkers can use them, too.

In these blinks, you’ll find

how to open your own emotional bank account;
why it’s important to listen more and talk less; and
how to make employee feedback less dreadful.

Being open to other perspectives can improve relationships.

It can happen to anyone: you think you have a complete understanding of something – and then, one fateful day, you discover that you had it all wrong.

Each of us experiences the world in a different way, but sometimes we get stuck seeing the world from a point of view that has room for only one truth. As a result, we adopt standard perceptions about ourselves and about others, and we begin to believe that this perception is the only reality.

Here’s a common scenario: a coworker approaches you, saying that he’s frustrated with another colleague because he thinks that she’s so slow and lazy that she’s going to cause everyone to miss their deadlines. This is what the author, Todd Davis, was confronted with when his colleague Jon came to him with his concerns about their coworker Isabel. Now, Jon wanted Davis to talk to Isabel, because Jon believed that he wasn’t a “people person.”

So, in Jon’s case, we have someone who believes himself to be bad at dealing with others, and perceives Isabel as being slow and plodding. This is his truth, but it doesn’t have to be.

The better mind-set is to reject narrow viewpoints about yourself, others and the world.

It’s your responsibility to take stock of your beliefs, keep an open mind and hold yourself accountable for any narrow-minded perspectives you might have about yourself, the world or the people in your life.

You should also stay open to the perspective of others. The author reminded Jon that he was a good husband and father. Therefore, he likely isn’t so bad at communicating, and if he put his mind to it, he could probably have a productive conversation with Isabel. Perhaps he wasn’t as inept around people as he’d long believed.

Jon eventually realized that he’d unfairly labeled Isabel as slow and lazy, without taking the time to talk to her about it or understand her work ethic.

Avoid a regretful reaction by pausing to think things over.

Here’s another unfortunately common scenario: A rude customer complains and you lose your temper, firing off a curt email in reply. After some time passes, you cool off and realize how badly you reacted.

In situations like these, we have a tendency to let outside factors, over which we have no control, dictate our mood and feelings.

Great relationships are built on credibility and having admirable characteristics.

You’ve probably heard about how important trust is to any successful relationship. It’s true – if people don’t think you’re credible, chances are they won’t have much respect for you.

So the challenge is to prove to others that you are indeed a credible person, which can be done by demonstrating that you have character and are competent at what you do. It also helps to show your capacity for long-term thinking and being adaptable to changing situations.

Relationships require the right balance and attention to the different roles we play.

You may think that you have one job, but, in the big picture, most of us play many roles. We’re parents, siblings, spouses, friends, as well as teachers, managers and mentors.

We can perform multiple roles simultaneously because of our ability to find balance.

Recognize the potential within people and avoid unimportant distractions.

Whether it’s coworkers, friends or employees, we should look beyond what people are today and instead see what they could become and how they might grow. Rather than seeing a scrawny seedling, we should recognize the tall and strong tree it can become.

When Todd Davis started out as a recruitment manager, he got lucky. His boss believed in him much more than Davis believed in himself – and so he introduced Davis to one of the senior leaders and proceeded to list all of Davis’s accomplishments, even though he’d only worked there for 35 days.

Focus on collaboration, not competition, by thinking about how everyone can benefit.

There’s a common misconception that there’s only so much room at the top. Therefore, if someone else is experiencing success, there must be a certain amount of success being taken away from you.

But this zero-sum philosophy is a poor approach to life, especially when it comes to your career.

Pay attention to your emotional bank account and make sure your motives are honorable.

It can help to think about your work relationships like a bank account, but rather than depositing and withdrawing money, you’ll add and withdraw things like trust and encouragement.

Such transactions, however, require that you keep close tabs on your emotional bank account (EBA). This way, you can rest assured that your work relationships aren’t withdrawing more than they’re depositing.

There are great advantages to listening and making sure that others feel heard.

If you go to the self-help section of any bookstore, you can find plenty of advice on how to be better at speaking and communicating, and most of it’s about delivering your message quickly and clearly. But what often goes unmentioned is the benefit of listening well.

To really listen, you have to do more than just close your mouth, nod occasionally and agree with what your interlocutor is saying. Listening requires a sincere interest and desire to understand the other person’s opinion or whatever concerns and problems she may have.

Don’t push your talents on others and remember the importance of trust.

You’ve probably heard the saying that there’s no such thing as too much of a good thing. Well, when it comes to working relationships, this isn’t exactly accurate.

It might sound counterintuitive, but adhering too much to your personal strengths can hinder progress and damage relationships.

Be receptive to feedback and promote a safe and respectful work environment.

Let’s face it, no one’s perfect. Deep down, we know that there’s room for improvement, yet we don’t like to hear about our shortcomings from a colleague. When we receive feedback with suggestions on how to improve, we may feel many things, from mild displeasure to utter devastation. But that doesn’t mean you should shield yourself from feedback.

Just consider the cautionary tale of Carsten.

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What is Get Better about?

Get Better (2017) offers valuable insight on how to build and maintain better relationships at work. With a wealth of practical advice that you can put into action today, this is a useful guide, both to nurturing important relationships and to avoiding all the typical pitfalls that can cause trouble in the workplace.

Who should read Get Better?

Executives and managers
Employees who deal with coworkers
Students of business and psychology

About the Author

Todd Davis has decades of human-resource experience and is an expert in recruitment and talent development. He is the executive vice president of the consulting company FranklinCovey, for whose global talent-development offices he’s also responsible. Davis is also the coauthor of Talent Unleashed: 3 Leadership Conversations to Ignite the Unlimited Potential in People.

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