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He Comes Next

The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

By Ian Kerner, PhD
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  • Contains 9 key ideas
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He Comes Next by Ian Kerner, PhD

He Comes Next (2006) is the ultimate guide to understanding the desires of men and the intricacies of their sexual response process. This understanding that can help bring more pleasure than your male sexual partner has ever experienced before. These are tips that can help you touch his heart and know what to do when you’re touching his other parts.

Key idea 1 of 9

The pelvic area is a highly guarded area – both physiologically and psychologically.

Keeping the family jewels well protected is an instinctual matter for every guy. If a man wakes up at night and has to cross a dark room filled with potential obstacles he might bump into, he’ll instinctively guard his junk against any painful collisions.

He’ll do this even if he’s half-asleep! Because self-protection, as well as sexual arousal, is all about physiology and instinctive reflexes.

Unlike a woman, a man’s genitals protrude outward, and the glans, or head of the penis, is the most physically sensitive part of his body. If the man is uncircumcised, the glans will be protected by the foreskin, a bit of tissue that automatically retracts to expose the head of the penis when he’s aroused.

Another very sensitive part of the body is the testicles, and these too will experience an automatic, physiological reaction during sexual arousal. They’ll scrunch up closer to the body.

But when it comes to the penis, we must also pay attention to the ways a man can protect himself psychologically.

The shaft of the penis gets a lot of attention since this is what fills up with blood to become erect during arousal. And for men, just how big and hard the penis gets is the subject of significant psychological strain, even though nearly all women agree that men fixate and place too much emphasis on penis size.

If you ever find yourself dealing with a man who becomes overly concerned about his penis not being sufficiently big or hard enough, be sure to use this as an opportunity to establish a channel of trust about each others’ sexual anxieties and desires. For example, you could make it clear that his penis isn't even needed to give you an orgasm, so he should worry less about his size and hardness and more about your clitoris or other desires.

Moving further down to the other bits that are stored below a man’s belt, we reach the perineum and then the anus. Given their location, both are naturally and biologically well protected. But due to the taboos surrounding the ass and its various functions, this area can be as guarded as Fort Knox – even though it’s full of sensitive and pleasurable nerve endings. In fact, just two inches inside the anus is the male G-spot, capable of providing immense sexual gratification when stimulated.

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