Daring to Trust (2010) offers a clear path to finding the confidence to trust yourself and the world around you. You’ll learn to overcome past trauma and accept life for what it has to offer, discovering how to live in the moment and work toward a better future.
How difficult is it for you to speak about your feelings with a stranger? Do you feel the world is generally a safe place? Your answers will depend mostly on your childhood experiences.
Children who develop strong bonds with parents end up feeling safer in the world and learn to trust people more easily. When a mother comforts a frightened child, the child learns to trust the mother, grows more attached to her and feels more comfortable in the environment at large.
Children who never experience this sort of familial bond typically grow up struggling with adult relationships. They have a hard time opening up to others, and fear they’ll be emotionally hurt if they try.
Our bodies remember the peaceful, safe moments we spend in a parent’s arms all our lives. These memories comfort us during difficult times, and remind us that the world is a safe place.
When the author was young, his mother, grandmother and great-aunt gave him a bath every Saturday night. Such warm memories still help him cope with difficult situations, even today.
Children need to be cared for, but sometimes too much care can also cause problems. If a parent is over-possessive, a child can’t develop needed independence.
That’s why it’s important that parents gradually relinquish control as children grow older. Young people need space to explore the world, testing boundaries, while parents are still around to offer support if things go wrong.
Such freedom also allows children to develop trust in themselves – a key part of forming and maintaining healthy relationships as adults.