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Come as You Are

The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

By Emily Nagoski
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  • Contains 9 key ideas
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Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski

Come as You Are (2015) is a scientific guide to the art and beauty of sex. These blinks explain how loving your body and exploring pleasure beyond the confines of social standards can open new doors to ecstatic satisfaction.

Key idea 1 of 9

Every human has a unique sexual anatomy composed of similar but unique elements.

Have you ever wondered why men have nipples? For women, this anatomical feature serves an obvious function, namely of nourishing babies. But when it comes to men, nipples seem to serve no purpose whatsoever. Then why do men have them?

Well, since every human being starts with the same basic body parts, these parts simply arrange themselves differently from person to person. This is known as homology.

For instance, as fetuses, boys, girls and those who land somewhere in the middle have identical genital tissue. In fact, for the first six weeks of a pregnancy, it’s impossible to see the difference between them.

In all cases, the genital material is made of the same sensitive tissue that’s so prone to stimulation. This fact also explains why men have nipples: all humans begin with the same basic parts, and since women need nipples, men get them too.

But the differences aren’t just between male and female genitals. In fact, every woman has unique genitals, all of which are normal and beautiful. In pornographic videos, vaginas are digitally remastered to make the lips, or labia, less visible. This can lead people to form unrealistic ideas about what a vagina should look like.

So remember, all sizes and colors of vagina are normal as long as they don’t cause pain. And the same thing goes for the clitoris. The size of this piece of anatomy can vary hugely, commonly ranging from the size of a pea to a miniature pickle.

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